University Chronicle: Beating online omens
Dec 3, 2009 Game Column, Journalism, University Chronicle
Disclaimer: Originally published on the St. Cloud State University campus paper, the University Chronicle on the Nov. 16 2009 issue. Written by Jun-Kai Teoh, Managing Online Editor.
This article may not be reproduced in any form, including online or print media, without first and foremost contacting the University Chronicle.
Video games are competitive, which is nothing new. Even back in the days of Pong or Pac Man, people competed against each other one way or another.
With the advent of Internet however, all that has changed.
I believe that people would nod their heads in agreement if I said that the Internet is both the best and the worst thing that was introduced to games.
Multiplayer games have never been more intense.
With up to 64 people shooting at each other in certain competitive games such as Battlefield 2, and with intense “up-close-and-personal” team fights in games such as League of Legends or Demigod, multiplayer is no more the Robin of Batman.
The multiplayer aspect of games is one of the biggest selling points of games these days.
A new phenomenon has been increasingly apparent in the online gaming community in the past few years, where a new species of gamers have slowly mutated out of the depths of hell and has begun a pesky assault against the gaming community.
These demons are often stubborn, quick to offend (and easily offended), rude, arrogant and at times even outright racist.
These elitist snobs bring a bad name to the gaming community.
Even though many gamers are fairly helpful and nice people, it’s the vocal and rude ones that get the attention.
Their opponents a “noob” (derogatory term, implying lack of skills) when they lose, a “noob” when the player wins against them, and sometimes they’re even excited enough to use racial slurs.
And it isn’t restricted to their opponents either, these horrid beasts think of themselves so highly that they’re quick to insult their own teammates as well.
They fail to realize that teamwork is essential in most multiplayer games; instead imagining themselves as a great hero of which is failed by incompetent lackeys.
It is sad however that these monsters are unaware of their own path to self-destruction.
By being the nuisances that they are, they turn away others from playing online game matches.
By being the annoyances that they are, they will slowly end up in a playing field consisting of mostly their own.
By being the pests that they are, they’re ridding the “community” aspect of the online community.
Here are a few ways that are very useful in annoying these rodents.
Shouting matches against them will not work; they’ll just get excited and act like monkeys on cocaine and LSD.
1. The Big Laugh
Really, just laugh at them. If they say I suck, I laugh at them. If they say I’m cheating, I laugh at them. If they call me names, I laugh at them. And I never offer an explanation either, which just annoys the heck out of them.
They absolutely despise being laughed at, and even more so when they have no idea why.
So just laugh.
2. The Counter-Statement
This is generally restricted to situations where they make a comment about skill-related issues. Such as when I successfully kill them with a knife, and they say knife-kills require no skills, I’d simply reply “Knife throwing is a skill!” even if it really isn’t.
In fact, it works better when what I say is absolutely untrue, because it just turns them into a vein-popping, blood boiling, feet-stomping lunatic.
It’s important however to reply only once and let them go on a rant. Ignoring them after they’ve incoherently pieced their argument is part of the fun.
3. The Dictionary Attack
It’s a sad and amusing fact that many of these pesky elitists don’t spell properly and often use terms and words incorrectly.
“These people are too absorbed in their own world to look in dictionaries; so they assume that what they think it is truth,” Private. Jackass (Glard Chia) said.
Having been at the forefront of the battle against these snobbish jerks, Chia’s favorite technique is to twist their words around and poke fun at them.
It works well too.
A very simple example is the word “gay”, which is often used as an insult against others.
Twist it around and think of it as “happy” and just agree with them, and the tables will have turned. The trick against these cretins is to take it as a joke.
No matter how competitive the game is or was, take it easy and it will be far more enjoyable.
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